QUALIFYING(Discussing Paul di Resta's career options, who the brains trust rather one-eyedly agree is in the best position, and a possible move to Ferrari)
JH: ...At the end of the day, he's going to play second fiddle to Alonso.
MB: Well, as the rest of the field do most weekends.
SL: Here is Ted with his best friend, the virtual car.
MB: There are some nice racing drivers around. I mean, [to SL], you're new to Formula One, you've only met us, unfortunately, but honestly, some of them are quite nice.
SL: [Of JH then DH] A rottweiler, then a koala on the end!
MB: We used to head out into the countryside at 220mph, and you were dependent entirely on your engine builder and your aerodynamicist, frankly, and it was pretty scary out there. I think from a fan's perspective - and I count myself as a fan of Formula One, this is a better layout.
MB: I've been lost in that forest, as have so many drivers. When you've broken down out the back, and tried to follow your nose back to the - and all you could do is hear the sound of Formula One engines bouncing round the trees. Walk for an hour and find you were even further away from the pits than when you started.
DCr: Allan McNish was reporting the very same problem, when we were chatting just yesterday in practice.
MB: That Lotus looks pretty nervy to me. They bought a special goody here to give them a lot of straight-line speed - I don't believe they're using it - which if it does work, I think it's a device that would give them alot of straight-line speed when they're not using the DRS in the race.
MB: I'll never forget the first time I ever drove a McLaren in 1983. Every time I came into the pits, they polished the car, and they - that's just Formula One for you, attention to the tiniest detail.
DCr: While they were polishing the car, did it make you think "I must be a bit more careful with this"?
MB: ...No. Made me think "I gotta go even faster through the air". They'd just taken [Ayrton] Senna's name off the side of it and put mine on, before they put Bellof's name on it, and it was the most extraordinary thing.
DCr: [Glock] not showing any of that local knowledge helping him too much. He is ahead of Narain Karthikeyan and, er, that's it for Timo.
MB: Well, [Grosjean] is struggling to make it go, make it turn, and make it stop, for some reason.
DCr: So, only a few things wrong there, then...
(Of the Red Bull engine imbroglio)
MB: I've talked to some very clever people in the paddock, and it's a very complex situation - I'll try to put it in a bite-size piece if I can.
(Delighted to see this next bit)
SL: Back in London, it's a warm welcome to Georgie Thompson and look, he's back! Anthony Davidson, how are you, mate? We've missed you.
AD: Yeah, apart from the mildly crushed vertebrae, really good.
MB: It sounds like something you'd get in a Michelin-starred restaurant, isn't it? A mildly-crushed vertebrae.
MB: I spoke to Martin Whitmarsh just before we went on air, and remember that Martin, team principal of McLaren, is not one to use 1 word when 100 will do. I said "do you expect Lewis to be in your car next year", he said "Yes".
(On the grid)
MB: Now I'm back here with the naughty boys in the penalty zone at the moment...
MB: Quick word, Nico? ... Generally ignoring me, at the moment, but I'm thinking that from his body language there may be a yes here.
(He waits patiently while Nico puts his shades on, wipes himself down, chews some gum, etc.)
MB: What is that? Can we have some? What is that stuff?
NR: Go-faster tablets!
MB: Let's try to find Romain Grosjean - he's standing over here with Alan Pomayne of the...Lotus team. I always keep wanting to call these people "Renault", I kind of got used to that.
MB: Are you wandering off the grid, Paul? We'll wander with you, if you like.
PdiR: It's all right, I'll stop.
MB: You're a regular gentleman!
(Martin does a quickie with Hulkenberg, then bumps into a familiar figure while trying to reverse away)
MB: Oh! Tanja, he's only going to do one question...
TB: How are you today? Very hard for all the English. German teams and German drivers in front!
MB: ...Yeah, but it's early days, the English. We always come through and win in the end, remember that?
(Martin mentioned it once, but I think he got away with it... -Ed)
(An interestingly-dressed man sings the German national anthem)
SL: He's nicked your suit, Johnny.
JH: He hasn't nicked it, I'm just about to order one of those. That's amazing.
(Raikkonen gets the tyre choices over his radio)
MB: It sounded a bit like a breakfast order in America, didn't it, how do you like your eggs?
(Perez strolls casually past Kobayashi)
MB: Looked a bit like synchronised swimming to me.
DCr: Maldonado and Webber with a bit of a Caterham filling at the moment.
MB: Really feisty today, the old man, isn't he? Might be in his forties, but that's incredibly aggresive driving from Michael Schumacher.
MB: Where is this imaginary Lotus pace? We keep talking all through the weekend, and then when the race comes, it doesn't deliver.
(Alonso's team radio is in Italian again.)
DCr: I agree completely.
MB: I wonder what language Fernando Alonso dreams in, because I saw him briefing the media today, and it was bang! Italian, bang! English, Spanish, and just whatever they threw at him in three languages, he had covered.
MB: It sounds like he's slightly late for a plane, doesn't it, rather than doing 200mph.
TK: I'm just thinking: with all these instructions in Italian, will all the British teams start talking in Cockney rhyming slang to confuse Ferrari?
DCr: Cor blimey guv'nor, that'd be nice!